Making Millions

I just watched a video about young self-made millionaires in Singapore, and one of the buzzwords I heard them saying the most frequently is “mindset”. Having the mindset of success, and monetizing your skills and passions. I interpreted this as manifesting one’s own success, which led me to a question that I don’t think I can answer. How much of their “mindset” was further reinforced by success, making this a loop of self-fulfilling prophecies? This is not to detract them from their success, but I wonder if their self-belief would be as steadfast, if for some reason or other, what they were doing did not work out? That video would have been more insightful if they had interviewed other youngsters who did similar things, but did not succeed. Does an individual’s personality make it easier/harder to achieve what they did?

From another perspective, does not chasing (and by extension not achieving) financial gains, make one less of a success? OR does success naturally follow a job/skill done well? What the hell is success?

I’ve got a lot of questions, that I will drown with pints of Guinness. Right. So THAT’S why I’m not one of those guys haha.

I Walked 20km For A Goddess I Barely Believe In | 妈祖绕经 – 不一样的热血

As a disclaimer, what follows is a semi-reliable, memory driven recollection. The most important part of the story is how it made me feel, and as such, some details are going to be left out (because they were not memorable so I’ve probably forgotten most of it). 

This story starts with my mother's selfless volunteering of her oldest son. I was already intrigued when Allen, her friend’s son, had mentioned in passing that he was going to participate in the Dajia Mazu Pilgrimage with his dad, and asked if I was interested. Mazu, put briefly, is a Taoist goddess of the sea, and an important figure in Taiwanese religion and folklore. You could not imagine how little all this meant to my mother, whose main consideration was that this was a “rare opportunity”, and that this was “very Taiwan”. I was interested, but very put off by this auntie’s (my mother, for the uninformed) wet market sales tactic, and the fact that they were going to leave in 3 hours. In addition, there was 40% battery in my phone, no change of clothes, and the fact that this was 2pm, and that I had been awake since 6am. As a questionable maker of snap decisions, I agreed to go.

The basic gist of this pilgrimage, is that a statue of Mazu is placed in a sedan, and carried on foot from Jenn Lan Temple in Dajia, Taichung, down to Fengtian Temple, in Xingang, Chiayi, and back to Jenn Lan Temple, stopping by many temples along the way. “Temple hopping”, if you will. This goes on for 9 days and 8 nights. Along the way, devotees, also known as 香客 (joss tourists) follow the sedan on foot, on bicycles, in cars, on wheelchairs (this is not an embellishment), for various legs of the journey, some in hope of a blessing, some to give thanks, and at least one because their mother told them it was a rare opportunity. Other devotees in along the way set up stands giving out food, water, blinking lights to hook on your bags, partly to encourage the people walking, partly as a form of showing their piousness and solidarity to the cause, and partly because it was a good marketing tactic (more on this later).

The walk starts out from Dajia, but my journey began in Taipei. The first 3 hours or so consisted of getting on the train to Dajia and trying to catch some last-minute sleep before going on an hours-long walk. Many times, as I closed my eyes and let my mind wander, I questioned my decision to actively make an irrational choice, just because it seemed like I could get a story to tell my friends. It was not surprising then, that not much of that much craved last-minute sleep was caught. The train soon pulled into Dajia station. It was nondescript and tired looking – the kind of place that exists as a way to get to another place. At any other time of the year that is. At that point in time, there were signs that this was not going to be a normal week. There was electricity in the air, as the timeworn train station welcomed probably two-thirds of its annual quota of passengers, most of whom were the aforementioned devotees. It was just 8.30pm, some two and a half hours from the sedan setting off, and there was already a crowd resembling one from a rock music festival. Different demographics, but you get the idea. Imagine the buzz going through the crowd, as great old ones with grey hairs and walking sticks elbow their way to the front to catch a glimpse of their favourite Goddess. In the temple, where a swarm was gathering, I received a clean elbow into my side, from an old guy who could barely walk, and yet was determined to enter the hall ahead of me. I wasn’t even that keen to be first. It felt like a “just in case” elbow. I knew this was a big thing for Taiwanese, but I think that was the moment I REALLY knew.

After Allen had “checked in” to Zhen Lan Temple, we set off on the walk. We were going to leave around 1 hour ahead of the sedan, in an advanced party of sorts, because “it would be way less crowded”. At the edge of Da Jia, loud electronic music blasted from huge stereo systems, as buxom, skimpily dressed, young ladies gyrated to poles, both attached to the back of a pickup truck in a Mad Max style, mobile concert situation. I know I said this was like bar hopping, but this had to be one of the more surprising things I’ve seen to date. Still, morale raised, sleepiness temporarily forgotten about, we walked along these trucks because the music gave us energy. This situation would only last for about 800m. The trucks stopped, and turned back towards town, the ladies cheered everyone on, while throwing posters of themselves into the crowd. A great way to market yourself to the largest audience, once a year. Marketing lesson taken to heart, we moved on.

The next 5 odd hours and 20 odd kilometers passed in a blur of time, people, food, temples, and toilets. Admittedly, exercise has not been a part of my daily routine for years, and I expected my body not to handle this sudden increase in activity too well. It turned out pretty alright, thanks to a comfortable 19 degrees Celsius temperature, and even comfortabler shoes.

We did an overnight walk, but aside from the darkened sky, it might as well have been peak hour. The vibe had begun to resemble a music festival I had partaken in some years ago in Europe (not Tomorrowland because NO!) There was a buzz in the air constantly, and the aforementioned roadside refreshment and replenishment stands, constant shouts of encouragement, music blaring from the boot stereos of heavily modified cars, and an eclectic variety of street performers, as we took steady steps forward.  

Instead of a play-by-play, I figured it would be more interesting to break down this walk into a highlight section of sorts. Let’s start with the marketing aspect that I had teased at the beginning. How was marketing tied into any of this? The first obvious example was the dancers giving out posters and namecards. Further along the walk, upon being handed a band of blinking safety lights (after liking and following the Facebook page of a temple group), I realized it was branded with their logo and social media handles. Talk about engagement by giving out free gifts, in this case, possibly a lifesaving one. Over the course of the 20km, food, water, and coffee were very generously handed out, from tents with company logos prominently displayed. There were also pick up trucks that gave tired walkers a lift, with equally prominent company logos. Despite the very commercial element of gift giving and service provision, I would choose to attribute the act to one of being kind-hearted, at its root.

Over the course of the 20 plus kilometers walked, we probably hit around 6-7 temples, each of those along a preplanned route. This was done due to instances where different temples in the past would get into physical altercations trying to divert Ma Tzu into their temple, which is seen as a blessing. I’m sure physical injury was not part of that blessing, nor is a blessing that was achieved through combat, really a blessing. Each of the temples had their own place to “check in”, with the procedure essentially being waving a flag that was “bestowed upon you” around the joss altar. After eating that elbow to the ribs in Zhen Lan temple, I decided it was best for me to wait outside, enjoy the lively atmosphere, while Allen went about his religious pilgrimage. Some of the more memorable things I’ve seen in temples along the way were a Chinese orchestra quartet wearing sexily-cut qipaos, a self-service noodle soup station under a huge shelter, and psychedelic LED light shows. Most places also had “environmentally friendly” electronic firecrackers, as long as you didn’t count noise pollution. Environmentally friendly but definitely not aurally friendly. And this is coming from someone who listens to extreme metal on a daily basis. From the noises, to the lights, to the constant lingering smell of joss smoke, it was basically hours upon hours of sensory overload. In this hustle and bustle, you could only find peace from within. Maybe that was how they wanted people to attain inner peace. 

Another interesting sight was a semi-famous mother and son pair, who do the full journey every year, carrying altars of their 家神 (home deity) on their back (like a backpack). The story goes that the mom was really sick, and the son went to pray to Mazu, promising to take their deity on the pilgrimage every year if she got better. She got better, so they do it, as a form of repayment and a show of devotion. People “in the scene” were clamouring to 结缘 (get acquainted) with them, and offer them their own encouragement. I was thankful for Allen for explaining everything to the ignorant(me) while on his own spiritual journey.

Near the end of the walk, we settled on a rest point at a temple near Shalu train station. We were going to take the morning train back, but there was still some time to go. Even then, we could only take a short break before moving into the train station for a longer rest, as people were starting to fill in. It is here I had to remind myself that what we were doing was the “lite” experience, being ahead of the bulk of the contingent travelling with the “goddess” herself. And this was only the first day. For the ones who had committed to going all the way, a long journey awaited them. There will also be more like us, who were only ever going to join a part of the journey. And for us, this current journey was nearing its end.

At the train station, there was finally a semblance of peace. People who were doing the same thing as us started to fill up the train station, finding a spot to lay down a mat and rest their weary feet. Perhaps because this was in the end, a religious pilgrimage, people offered their mats, water, snacks and words of encouragement to other people, free of the marketing elements. And perhaps, at the end of my few hours, I had finally experienced the real meaning of this walk.

Notes from a year on
I had offered this story to the Straits Times Lifestyle editor (sorry Clara!), but did not send her the above “completed” part in the end, because I felt like there were parts I could do better on. It is now almost a full year since I told her I would send it in for it to be looked at.

It had taken me the best part of a year to come back and clean this entry up, given the amount of things that had happened in the family, the biggest of which is a kidney transplant from my mom to my dad. Looking back, I am grateful for that sensory overload, which over distance and time, had distilled into something that I could still remember, and therefore still fill into the article. In the end, my mom had volunteered me into a story I could try to commit to writing to the best of my ability, and perhaps that is my blessing from that pilgrimage.

Allen, me, Allen’s dad 雄哥

Procrastination - A Somewhat Introspective Journey

TL;DR I procrastinate without guilt because sometimes, there are more important things in life than the supposed “important” tasks, especially if it’s work or study related procrastination. However, there is no overarching solution, and everyone has to find a way that works best for themselves.

Ok, here we go.

I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say that if procrastination were an Olympic sport, I would find myself on the podium. Not because I think I’m Top 3 in the world, but because the world class procrastinators would find themselves not registering for the event in time, and not qualifying for the competition, just because they are too good at it. The irony. Procrastination, after all, is a failure of the human condition, the woes of the chronologically challenged, and the heroically late. The overriding feeling regarding procrastination is often guilt, the guilt of being unproductive.

But is it really a human flaw? Is procrastination really the bane of productivity? And should we feel guilty about it? You might ask “And if you’re such a world class procrastinator, why are you writing about it now instead of 8 years later? (you fraud)”

I’ll tell you next time.

For now, let’s do a shallow, unscientific dive into procrastination(using myself as an example mostly), why it might not be unproductive, and how to feel little to no guilt while cleaning your room instead of writing that article that was due 3 days ago.

What is procrastination really? Is it a problem?

A cursory search on your favourite search engine leads to a multitude of quotes about procrastination, the good, the bad, and the ugly. But in general, my favourite definition of it is “The fine art of postponing the inevitable, often by engaging in completely unrelated and unnecessary activities with a false sense of urgency.” Because it’s true. One main reason I procrastinate is because the thing that I have to do brings about negative feelings. It could be too difficult, too boring, too overwhelming, too (whatever excuse you have is valid).

And the most common solutions basically rely on breaking the task into easier, manageable parts, reducing the mental barrier to starting, removing distractions, and a reward structure to completing these manageable parts. Common techniques include the Pomodoro technique (Work in short bursts with small breaks in between.), The 5 Minute Rule (Trick yourself into starting by committing to just five minutes. Once you begin, momentum usually carries you forward.), and creating accountability with external pressures, be it telling someone you’ll do it, setting a deadline, or using apps that remind (or shame) you into finishing tasks.

AND they’re mostly correct and effective to a certain extent. However, in order to utilize these techniques, we have to accept that our procrastination is a problem, and that these are steps to deal with the problem. 

What I do personally, is less common, but more productive in a time x amount of work done scale. This is not always workable, nor effective, depending on your line of work, but as someone whose freelance work involves writing, I often utilize panic as an effective motivational tool to shut out all external distractions and get cracking. The best example involves writing a 21,000 word masters thesis in 27 hours, including research*. I believe this has to do with something visceral, like our bodies' fight or flight response, but I shall not bore any possible readers (nor myself) with this science stuff. Why do I not feel guilty when I’m doing this? Because I simply do not have the capacity to.

*P.S. If it’s that important, I got a B.
*PPS. If it’s also that important, I had 4 months to write it.

Procrastination, Positivity, and Productivity

Moving on from my ineffective solution, I think procrastination could be harnessed effectively, and looked upon as a positive, in terms of productivity and efficiency. One of my favourite quotes neatly sums this up.

“Procrastination taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours, and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.”

Simply put, the human brain is pretty amazing (this is not a science article) in terms of adapting to what is needed at any point in time. This is tenuously linked to my panic being an effective form of motivation, but my point here is that productivity need not be harmed by procrastination. Sometimes procrastination, while making the non-urgent work urgenter and urgenter, is very healing for the soul.

Another of my favourite quotes, sometimes attributed to John Lennon “Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted”, is something I try to think about when I find myself putting things off. In trying to find out why I procrastinate, I found out more about myself, and the reasons why I chose to approach certain things in certain ways, and why I chose to put off certain things for other less important things. In the end, I found out that the main issue was motivation (surprise, surprise). Often, the things I handled at hyperspeed with panic as my red bull, and red bull as my red bull, did not have far-reaching, negative consequences for it being done simply to a minimum level of adequacy. If I could do the “8 hours of work” in 30 minutes, while playing with my dog, watching a movie, and going for a walk (all arguably more important than work) for the other 7h30min, and still get paid for it, obviously I’m not going to work for all 8 hours and produce better work, and get paid the same. Why? Because the lower level is accepted, and I don’t get paid more for better work. And I get to enjoy better mental health.

Now, if the quality of work is important, the motivation would be different, because to some extent, there would be a level of personal responsibility and pride (and maybe money) involved. If I found a client that I really enjoyed working with, and we have the same direction artistically, I would inevitably “vibe” more with the project. And since it’s something I enjoy doing, why would I procrastinate doing it? And if it’s an idea I’m aligned with, naturally I would want it to be done to the best of my ability.

Imposter Syndrome - The real productivity killer (personally)

This is where it gets abit murky. Because the pressure to do something well is another excuse to procrastinate. I have sometimes found myself delaying a task I enjoyed because I was not “in the right frame of mind”, or because “I’m not doing this justice”, and “it could and should be a lot better than what I’m producing” and have actually not submitted an article that I pitched to a newspaper editor (it’s been a year) because of these excuses. The kicker? The article is fully written. 

After kicking about on some copywriter communities (I love Copykooks, the people there are so supportive), there was a name to this bane of mine. Imposter Syndrome, as Tam so helpfully pointed out in many of her courses. What is it? The persistent feeling that you’re a fraud, despite clear evidence of your competence. It’s a fear that someone will “find out” you’ve been winging it all along—when, in reality, so is everyone else. I have since found out that it plagues so many of us, and that sometimes we procrastinate because of this. And I have since tried to combat this by telling myself that I am not Ash Ketchum and I don’t wanna be the very best, like noone ever was. Or you know, something I am already doing with the work that pays for adequacy. So there’s no secret here. It was just learning to balance my mentality, instead of veering between two extremes.

How do I not feel guilt while procrastinating?

I just understand that sometimes taking a break is necessary and that not all work has to be good and that life is more than work anyway? When in doubt, zoom out, see the big picture, and if that 48 hour deadline is really a deadline, or can that be extended by an email, a text, or a call (DO NOT CALL I HATE CALLS)

How do YOU not feel guilt while procrastinating?

I don’t know. I can only tell you what works for me. And at the end of the day, there’s no overarching solution to procrastination, or how to not feel guilty while doing it. It’s getting to know yourself, and taking your own habits into account while working, or doing tasks. It sounds like a cop out to end like this, but copping out is also one of my traits and I will not answer for it. That’s why I’m copping out.

Just a little deadline beater

Before it gets to one month. This month has been kind of fruitful, with some progress in networking and hopefully finding writing gigs. Money wise, it has been fruitless. Crazy bad. I would love to elaborate, but it’s really just a lack of freelance jobs, or cashflow issues with the company.

Bit of a wall I have to climb over. But one step at a time I suppose. :/

Is Posting Monthly a sign

That I’m not writing as much as I should? What is writing anyway, other than an amalgamation and a summary of things that we have experienced, and need an avenue to express? In that sense, real writing is done outside, experiencing things, and having feelings about things so that we can come back to the “typing machine” that turns that into words, and turn that into words, right?

Even so, I haven’t done that much writing. My brain feels like it has been on autopilot for about a week now, because I just cannot find the energy to start anything. I’m sure if I get started already, the momentum would take me forward. But the inertia is great. Going to watch a standup show today, and hopefully get ideas (as if).

I hope it’s not another month before I get writing. Both on the machine and outside.

It Turns Out That… It’s Never Too Late

After a decent amount of time spent on job boards looking for writing jobs to sustain my life, because my day job isn’t paying me, something dawned on me. It turns out that the biggest hurdle to getting a writing job is that the jobs already want you to be published. A bit of a Catch-22 that.

I like the phrase “it turns out that”, because it doesn’t place the responsibility on someone. In the aforementioned example, this is the most apt phrase to use. I can’t blame publications looking for freelancers who want some background, safety net, or at least something to judge someone (off the interwebs might I add) they’re about to give money to. At the same time, someone who is starting out is not going to be published anywhere, unless they find someone who is willing to take a chance on them. OR they have already done their time in a full time writing position somewhere. It seems I may have stumbled upon a solution in this rambling.

Time to go find an entry level writing job at 35. “It’s never too late to… blah blah blah”, except a lot of the time, it feels patronising. The crux of this, is what someone is willing to give up in pursuit of the unknown, isn’t it? Sometimes it does feel like it’s too late.

Update on Life: A Meandering Stream of Consciousness

It has been a few months since I started writing here with the intention to keep it light, and mostly about interesting observations and musings. In fact, after Vietnam, I spent a total of 6 weeks in Taipei. The original plan was to visit our favourite uncle whom we have not met in 3 years (Thanks Covid), hang out, travel in Taiwan, and celebrate his retirement. To make a long story short, he got really ill but one week into retirement, and eventually passed within a month of getting ill. So instead of mountains and lakes and loads of shit talking, it was ICU day after day, and eventually a wake and funeral. His business class tickets to Singapore to celebrate his 60th birthday with us was a stark reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned.

And so it proved prophetic. Dad had a kidney transplant (mom donated), so I was pushed back to help out with the family business, which in all honesty, did not interest me at all. The boundaries I had drawn up while negotiating the return was duly stepped on and spat on (figuratively), and I found myself back in the mire I had escaped from some 3 years ago, with much difficulty. Family duties and all. Put simply, my dad used my name to take business loans, to do his business. It didn’t work as planned (pandemic and whatnot), so basically I am back to try and fight fires he started (and my own future and credit score). With all that being said, I don’t think my dad is a bad person, but he is a slave to his ego. He has surrounded himself with yes men, and any dissent towards his ideas (a construction company specialising in building castles in the air) is met with not at all constructive(destructive?) criticism. The desperate need to prove the unknown other wrong, that he can be a success, has pretty much led him (and me) down this dark path, where the only way is through. Sounds pretty much like gambling if you ask me.

On the topic of “the only way is through”, I saw a funny picture with the caption

“The only way is through. But the only way through is to work on myself. So I guess there is no way.”

THIS TOTALLY RESONATED WITH ME! As a dedicated believer of doing the bare minimum (unless I feel otherwise), this situation I find myself plonked into feels like life is telling me “pass my test, and I will grant you a boon”. The said boon, however, feels very much like a chance to start from 0, and starting from 0 at ages 35-37 seems abit much. I am at the age where all my friends have their own families, and I have the one I’m born in. The idea of having freedom is locked up in a cage, chained up, tied down with cement, and tossed overboard to the bottom of the ocean.

Unsurprisingly then, I just got diagnosed with anxiety and high blood pressure. Partly age, partly my sedentary lifestyle, partly my diet of food that tastes good, but is actually really bad for you, and I bet mostly because my work environment (from which I long to be free from) is ass. Which I already knew, having worked there for 7 years previously. But I am honestly at a loss, because my name is attached to all the loans, and letting my dad-boss-who-only-listens-to-cunts-who-tell-him-he’s-right do whatever the fuck he wants is honestly not going to help the situation.

It has thrown off my personal plans of trying copywriting as a job, although I still go online and take courses to try and keep my brain working. Doing a readthrough of this post has led me to the conclusion that my writing has gotten (or was already) fucking mediocre, and would require much practice, sharpening and reading. This conclusion as serves as somewhat of a conclusion for this stream of consciousness-y, ranty post, that nobody will read, because I told all of 1 person that I made this website when I made it, and proceeded to not update it.

Eh, that’s it for now I guess? Hopefully the next update is more positive and also not months away.

Cheers.

I Didn’t Even Notice This Post Was Here Until Now. 3/7/2023

Well Hello. The below is Squarespace’s default first post. It’s not written in the tone that I prefer, but it’s not bad. So I’m just going to leave it there.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.